Talk:Enola Gay/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Ian Rose (talk · contribs) 05:12, 14 April 2013 (UTC)
I have another GAN review to do before this but thought I'd stake my claim now... ;-) Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 05:12, 14 April 2013 (UTC)
Toolbox check -- no dab links but FN12 and FN44 links seem to be dead or at least moved. Cheers, Ian Rose (talk) 04:01, 20 April 2013 (UTC)
Structure
- Lead might be a little short; it should probably at least mention something about the storage/restoration between WWII and 1995 to summarise the whole article.
- Added. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:03, 24 April 2013 (UTC)
- Since you combine the Hiroshima and Nagasaki missions in one section, with subheaders for each, why not do the same for the crews?
Prose/detail
Lead
- Not sure we need to link bomber, especially with B-29 linked immediately before.
- "due to a controversy over original historical script" -- I think "owing to" is preferred over "due to" but, in any case, the rest of the wording seems odd; do you mean "controversy (no "a") over an original historical script"?
World War II
- "B-29-45-MO, AAF Serial Number 44-86292" -- Do I take it the first figure is Boeing's serial number, and "AAF" in the second means the USAAF's serial? If so, perhaps spell out the first and at least link "AAF" to USAAF.
- "modified engines" -- anything more specific, e.g. "upgraded" or "more powerful" (would also eliminate the "modifications"/"modified" repetition) in the sentence.
Nagasaki
- I don't think it's clear that the primary target was Kokura. Suggest mentioning both the primary and secondary targets of the mission after the first sentence, then the significance of Enola Gay's weather report for Kokura becomes apparent.
Mission crews
- Think lower case for the roles, e.g. "pilot and aircraft commander", or at least sentence case, but definitely not title case.
Subsequent history
- Suggest brief explanation after mention of Op Crossroads, otherwise the connection to the potential test drop at Bikini Atoll isn't immediately obvious.
- Does AmEng take double "R" in "transferred"?
Referencing
- Obviously you didn't start this one from scratch -- are you personally convinced of the standard of all the references? Is Cybermodeler, for instance, really an RS?
- I don't think "BBC Documentary Hiroshima" is very satisfactory as a citation... ;-)
Supporting materials
- Image licencing appears okay.
- File:Enola Gay-27527-1.jpg and File:B-29 Superfortress ENOLA GAY 4.jpg are pretty similar so I think we could afford to lose one -- no pref on my part which.
- File:Enola Gay cockpit.jpg and File:Enola Gay-27527-2.jpg are also similar -- I think the latter is superior so would lose the former.