Template:Did you know nominations/Death of Hacı Lokman Birlik

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The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by SL93 (talk) 20:35, 28 April 2022 (UTC)

Death of Hacı Lokman Birlik

Created by Paradise Chronicle (talk). Self-nominated at 11:07, 27 March 2022 (UTC).

  • Otokar Akrep was the vehicle he was dragged through the streets and its also known as scorpion. I wanted to wikilink it, but reconsidered and thought the focus should be on Hacı Lokman Birlik.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 17:54, 24 April 2022 (UTC)
  • No Copyright problems but I found it difficult to read and edit. I moved the citations to their own section so that I could copyedit. Another problem is that multiple citations are used in the middle and at the end of many sentences making it over-cited and making the prose disjointed. For instance there is one sentence with 6 citations. I think we need to clean up the ambiguity of this: "In the night from 2 to 3 October 2015" We should know more precisely when he was dragged or word it better. We need to get a better hook. From the article the father's arrest was because of the flag and the words he shouted. Not sure I like any of them. Here is a suggestion - let me know if you like it or have another.
I agree that there are many citations. It is because it is an article on a bit of a sensitive issue and I was trying to avoid mistakes. I adapted the hook a bit and added words in italic. I agree with your idea of the hook. I'll follow your advice and review the article again.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 22:04, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
I made a few more edits. I am approving ALT0a. Bruxton (talk) 23:15, 25 April 2022 (UTC)
Bruxton, as ALT0a is completely your creation, you may not approve it; an independent reviewer has to. I don't understand why it's numbered ALT0a, since it is not a variant of the original hook (sometimes called ALT0). I have removed Paradise Chronicle's italics indicating his additions, which are confusing and could have resulted in the hook being promoted with improper italics.
New reviewer needed to check ALT0a, and also to recheck the article itself; Bruxton's edits are significant enough that someone else should review the article text. BlueMoonset (talk) 01:08, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
@BlueMoonset: Thanks I changed it to ALT5. Also good to know about italics and about needing additional hook approval. Bruxton (talk) 01:14, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
Hi Bruxton, it seems you made a good copy edit. You didn't add sources nor content but after your work on the article the rater tool would now rate is a low B and not a low C anymore. I upgraded it to a C class now. Thanks a lot, also for the review.Paradise Chronicle (talk) 12:45, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
Before this goes up, I would suggest posting it at GOCE for a final edit. --evrik (talk) 19:49, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
Thanks @Evrik: I just posted it there. Bruxton (talk) 20:31, 26 April 2022 (UTC)
  • Passing Alt 5. --evrik (talk) 19:49, 26 April 2022 (UTC)