Wikipedia:Featured list candidates/List of international goals scored by Manon Melis/archive1
- The following is an archived discussion of a featured list nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured list candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.
The list was promoted by PresN via FACBot (talk) 00:27, 2 March 2021 (UTC) [1].[reply]
List of international goals scored by Manon Melis[edit]
List of international goals scored by Manon Melis (edit | talk | history | protect | delete | links | watch | logs | views)
Toolbox |
---|
- Nominator(s): Edwininlondon (talk) 19:20, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Having nominated the list of goals scored by Vivianne Miedema, all-time goal scorer for the Dutch football team, it seemed fair to work on the list of her predecessor, Manon Melis. I have applied all the comments reviewers kindly provided in the Miedema nonimation to this Melis list article. I believe it is ready. I look forward to your comments. Edwininlondon (talk) 19:20, 9 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments
- "She helped the Dutch qualify for their first major finals ever" - lose the unnecessary word "ever"
- "Her last goal, her 59th, she scored in" => "She scored her last goal, her 59th, in"
- " in and against Albania in 2013" - simpler and more elegant to just say "away to Albania"
- "Serbia and Switzerland are the teams against whom" => "Serbia and Switzerland are the teams against which"
- "Her most productive year was 2011. She ended that year with 10 goals from 12 games." - can you merge these two very short sentences together?
- "Four of her goals came from penalties." - placed where this is, there's the slight possibility of confusion as people may think it means four of her goals in 2011 were pens. Can this be reworded or moved somewhere else?
- Think that's it from me -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 19:43, 10 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks very much for taking the time to review. I think I have address all your points. Edwininlondon (talk) 21:52, 11 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Support -- ChrisTheDude (talk) 17:25, 12 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Resolved comments from ~ HAL333 21:48, 4 February 2021 (UTC)[reply] |
---|
;Comments
That's all. ~ HAL333 16:02, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
|
- Comments
Nice work Edwininlondon. A few comments for improving readability:
- "Hers was the only Dutch goal in a 4–1 defeat." Consider changing to "She scored the only Dutch goal in the 4–1 loss." or "Hers was the only Dutch goal in the 4–1 loss."
- "She also scored a hat-trick in a FIFA World Cup qualifier match away to Albania in 2013." Consider editing to something like "In September 2013, she scored a hat-trick against Albania during 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup qualification."
- "Melis played her only matches at a FIFA World Cup finals in 2015, in Canada." I read this as she played in the Final, but the Netherlands was not in the 2015 FIFA Women's World Cup Final... Being that this article is about her international goals scored, it seems the following sentences are not needed in the lead: "Melis played her only matches at a FIFA World Cup finals in 2015, in Canada. In her four games she did not score; the Dutch were defeated by finalists Japan in the round of 16."
- Should the sentences starting with "Serbia and Switzerland are the teams against which she has scored the most" be in a new paragraph?
- The alt tags on the images could be more specific to include "Photo of Dutch international footballer Manon Melis...." instead of "woman". See the Elizabeth II example at WP:MOSALT.
Hmlarson (talk) 04:53, 25 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks very much for your review. I believe I have addressed all your points. Edwininlondon (talk) 22:48, 25 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Comments
- Link cap to Cap (sport)
- "even longer goal draught" > drought?
- Link Denmark and Switzerland.
A few very minor points, but that's about it. Nice work. Kosack (talk) 08:34, 7 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Thanks very much for your review, Kosack. I believe I have addressed the minor points you raised. Edwininlondon (talk) 17:34, 8 February 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Source review passed (and thanks for adding trans-titles!); promoting. --PresN 02:46, 1 March 2021 (UTC)[reply]
- Closing note: This candidate has been promoted, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FLC/ar, and leave the {{featured list candidates}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through.
- The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.